Divorces in India!!!

We Indians always argued that Divorces are for Westerners — we have solid marriages and we know how to make them work. I happened to have different opinion — all people and all marriages are same. Once a society evolves when divorve is no taboo and women have opportunities for second marriages and to live without marriages, the divorce rates become about the same.

Times of India has an interesting article.

“There is no shame or stigma attached to a divorce now and even parents often back their daughters who want to separate if things do not fall in place,” psychiatrist Harish Shetty added. The increasing numbers corroborate what they say. Last year (until October) saw 4,138 divorce applications in Mumbai. This is an increase of 47.5% over the 2002 figure of 2,805.

Other urban centres in the state are catching up with Mumbai. Thane district saw 3,675 divorce pleas between January and October 2007, while Pune saw 1,372 pleas in the entire year.

15 thoughts on “Divorces in India!!!

  1. Howard MacKinnon

    I wonder if a combination of the two is not the better way to deal with divorce. On the one hand, divorce should be a readily available option for those whose marriage has failed. On the other, some social stigma can help limit the option to when it is truly a last resort. Divorce does represent a failure, at least on someone’s part. I believe it should be looked upon as an unfortunate, but sometimes necessary option.

    The problem is that people have become accustomed to viewing anything that is legal as also being socially acceptable and it would be going too far to reinstate legal restrictions on divorce.

  2. Anonymous

    Divorces are great to give people options. It is good that at least now women in India have a say and can choose to opt out. It is an important step to give equal power to women. Men and women are made equal and come together on equal terms in a marriage. However, the society in India treats women inferiorly…

    On the flip side of the coin, given a choice, we always think that the problem is outside of us. Which may not be the case always. We think that we can divorce this person and make it with the next and so on… But the truth of the matter is, if we are not able to communicate with the person we are with for the past many years, who do we think we will communicate well with? Every situation has a solution that is amiable to both the parties. Divorce is definitely a valid answer as long and both understand that that is what is best for them and there is no bitterness left between the two parties. If we can open up ourselves and state what is it that we want, it could also happen that the two can stay together and be happy.

  3. Ramesh Post author

    Clearly, divorce indicates failure and should be, and is usually, treated like that. Nothing better than open communication, sympathy and apthy for problems and issues your partner may have, and efforts to help and understand. But at the same time, many societies that brag about the virtues of stability of marriege in their societies usually treat one party, mostly woman, significantly inferior to the other and make it a taboo for sexist reasons.

    Marriage is an interesting institution. It is amazing to see how successful it has been and still remains. It is a testament to human understanding and willingness to adapt.

  4. anonumous

    Dear Moldova & Ersen,

    Any concept of “should” etc. does not hold, as the fact of the matter is, that divorces happen. As soon as you introduce “shoulds” you are fighting with reality and no peace or resolution can come from it. “It shouldn’t be raining”, “My kids should listen to me!” “Divorces should not happen.” All statements are absurd, because in reality it is raining today in New York and is likely to rain all day, my kids do not listen to me, and divorces happen!! What is needed in any situation is the compassion to accept things the way they are and have an open communication to take things to how they can be (not how they SHOULD be!)

    Byron Katie says “when you fight with reality you but lose 100% of the time.” Check her blog at byronkatie.com. I feel that her work is the best thing since sliced bread!!

    Good luck!

  5. Legal Separation

    I think the shame and stigma of divorce keeps can keep people in otherwise unhealthy relationships. I don´t think divorce should be looked upon lightly, people should try and honor their vow of marriage. However, sometimes marriages just don´t work and people should feel that they are free to end those marriages if they choose to.

  6. vitamins minerals

    I think couples who have incompatability and find the marriage a burden can walk out of it through a divorce. There’s nothing wrong with it. Afterall, the idea of marriage between a man and woman is to live together and live happily as a family and fight problems together…whats the point when they become problamatic to each other instead and the happiness and the desire to live together between them ceases?

  7. sbs

    I think indian people divorcing. in indian many people in india with poverty. This reason is making people unhappy. So mates don’t understand each other. This is my opinion.

  8. Bob Franklin

    It is sad to see the increasing divorce rates in India. I hope that our US culture does not “infect” India to the extent that relationships become throwaways, as they are too often here.

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