I had no idea that CK had so deep influence in my memories. The impact of somethings you don’t realize until you experience the loss.
I had to be in the Bay Area (Palo ALto and other places) and I thought that the busy program that I will have will keep my mind away from thinking about the premature loss that his family and the world had. That was not to happen — contrary to what I thought, wherever I went, in my memory he was there. Starting from sitting in my flight, I was reminded how whenever we traveled together he will be non-stop discussing things. In the bay area, we went to many companies together and visited several restaurants. All those Virage board meeting, all the hotels we stayed together, the dreams we had together, … they kept on rolling in my mind very vividly. It was as if I am again traveling with him. I am making presentations in which he is present and will take-over when business issues came in.
Neil was with him and I feel that he understood what I was going through because he would put his arms around me and say, Dad don’t think about him.
Of course, I am reminded of him everywhere because whereever I go people ask about him, my mail is full of that.
I personally met Arun Katkere and Asquith Bailey in Palo Alto and we reminisced about him. I can talk a bot about him, but then I start getting emotional. This is the first time this has happened to me in life.
I can not help but think about his family — particularly Gayatri — and their situations. My heartfelt sympathies are with them.
He indeed was a great person — a person who did everything with full intensity, rigor, and passion. His boldness and quest for doing it in the best way, his sensitivity for ides and people he cared was unique.
I know that I should think only about all the wonderful things he did, but those memories bring tears. And I find that I am not in control here.